Kind of annoyed.

I take that back. I am very annoyed.

Back history. When I was 6 or 7 my Uncle took care of this kid named Ronnie (I'm pretty sure Ronnie was his foster son..). Ronnie was 7 years older than me, so I guess he was 13 or 14. Anyway, my Uncle raised him until Ronnie was 18. Ronnie would babysit me from time to time... And every time I spent the night with Uncle Donnie, Ronnie was there. Best. Baby sitter. Ever. 

Anyway, Uncle Donnie moved to New Orleans, and the last time I saw Ronnie was at Donnie's going away party. (The night I found out I was pregnant). It was in August of 2009.

I wouldn't say that I was super close with Ronnie. I mean I was when I was little and he was like an awesome big brother, but once he moved out of Donnie's I really never saw him... Maybe 3 or 4 times maximum since I was 11 or 12.

Anyway Monday I got a call and was told that they had found Ronnie dead in the woods behind an apartment building. They assumed it was a drug overdose. I was extremely sad. This guy used to babysit me all the time. He even bought me a pen at the zoo once. I was also sad for my uncle, for Ronnie's family, and for Ronnnie's kids. He has 3, plus one on the way.

Anyway, I guess they got some more information and found out that he actually died on Saturday. His g/f said that when he left her house he went to a neighbors. She thinks he overdosed at the neighbors and they put him in the woods so they wouldn't get in trouble. Who knows.

(And please no negative comments about him overdosing or anything like that. I know he didn't have the ideal life. He did do drugs and I know that part is his own fault. But just because he did drugs does not mean that he was a bad person. I don't even really know anything about how his life was now. All I do know is that I wish the people who are still close to him would have tried harder helped him to help himself. My uncle did tell my mom that everyone knew he was using drugs and that they were trying to help him and trying to get him to quit but he wouldn't listen. I don't know what happened to him that would make him feel like drugs were the answer.)

His family was having a lot of trouble coming up with the burial money since he didn't have any type of life insurance or anything, and they just told everyone that the services are going to be on Saturday..  


ANYWAY. The reason I am annoyed is because I really want to go to his funeral on Saturday...... But I have no one to watch the kids. Seth and Paige's mom wont answer her phone or return my texts. Brian has to work all day Saturday and he can't watch the kids. I have no one that I can ask to watch all 3 of them... I don't even have someone to watch Kayelynn. I just don't know what to do. My mom and Mammaw and stuff will be at the funeral so they can't. I don't really trust Brian's grandma to watch her.... Plus I absolutely hate asking people to babysit for me!


URGH. I am so tired of helping everyone else when no one ever wants to help me.


Rant over now.
If you made it to the end of this you deserve a cookie or something.