My Breastfeeding Fail.

So, Christina at Loving My Life as a Mommy of Two gave me the idea to share my Breastfeeding story/fail.

Keep in mind Kayelynn was born at 36 weeks.

I wanted to breastfeed from the moment I found out I was pregnant. When I had Kayelynn they didn't let me breastfeed right away before they took her away. About 2 hours later when we finally got back to my room they finally let me try. She wouldn't latch on so they had the lactation consultant come in and speak to me. We tried for forever to get Kayelynn to latch and she just couldn't do it. They told me to just wait.

The next day she still wouldn't latch on. I was so frustrated. I don't know about where you girls live, but in all the hospitals around here in Ohio, you have to keep a record of how much your baby is drinking. They don't go off weight, only how much they drink. So, I knew they weren't going to let us go home because in Kayelynn's first day of life she had drank NOTHING.

Finally after about 18 hours I gave in and asked for formula. Kayelynn couldn't latch. I knew she was hungry. I was frustrated. They wouldn't let me have formula even though I asked! They told me to just keep trying. FINALLY I demanded formula. This was almost 24 HOURS LATER.

Now, the doctor told me they wanted her eating an ounce every 3 hours. She wouldn't. Instead, Kayelynn was eating half an ounce every 1.5 hours... Same thing right? Some babies like to eat a smaller amount and eat more often. Well, the nurse YELLED at me. She told me I was feeding her way too much and that I was giving her gas. Oh, I was LIVID. If you are breastfeeding, you don't know how much your baby is drinking, yet if they are hungry, you feed them. It doesn't matter if it's every 4 hours of every 20 minutes. A baby is not going to over eat.

We ended up talking to ANOTHER lactation consultant. Yes, that's 3 different ones. They basically came to the conclusion that since Kayelynn was "Late pre-term" she just couldn't latch on. (I ended up getting a REALLY nice hospital grade breast pump when we got home and it was actually covered through my insurance since Kayelynn was late preterm!)

Next day we go home. On our second day the home nurse came to visit and check on Kayelynn. Within an hour of her leaving she called to tell us that Kayelynn's bilirubin levels were super high and to go to the hospital right then. Not to stop anywhere just go.

*Bilirubin- which can make babies Jaundice- is dangerous if the levels are too high. It causes baby to turn yellow and can cause brain damage if the levels are elevated and left untreated! Bilirubin exits the body though bowel movements. That is one reason it's so important for baby to go so much. Breast milk is especially good for getting bilirubin out of the body. Formula tends to make babies more constipated. *

I asked the doctor if Kayelynn's levels being so high could have had anything to do with her not eating for an entire day after birth could have affected her levels and they told me yes, it could have. If I would have even pumped and gave her breast milk through a bottle that would have helped get the bilirubin out of her system.

We ended up staying in the hospital for 24 hours while Kayelynn was under the bilirubin lights. I was only allowed to touch her to change her diaper and then to feed her. Even then she had a special light that I put under her on my lap and then we had to shine the overhead light on us both. They weren't even going to let us stay in the hospital! Thank goodness since I was pumping they let us stay with her.

I just found out recently about a nipple guard that can sometimes help babies latch. I am so mad. I honestly feel like my nurses and even the lactation consultants didn't provide me with all the tools they could have to make my breast feeding attempts successful.

I hate that I gave in and gave Kayelynn formula in the hospital, but I did what I felt was right. Eventually they did give me a breast pump... It was a manual one that I had to sit and pump myself. When we got home I used that thing every 3 hours until I got my amazing one in the mail. I swear angels sang when I used that thing. I was able to pump Kayelynn for 3 weeks, and then my milk supply stopped. I tried pumping more often and it just didn't work. I decided to just go ahead and make the change to formula.

I hate that I couldn't breast feed. And I don't know why my milk just stopped coming in. I still hate that I couldn't breast feed Kayelynn. I honestly feel like if they had given me a nipple guard to try, or if I had known about it to ask my attempts would have been successful. I'm not going to lie. I went into it thinking that it was a piece of cake.

Anyway, thanks to Christina, next time around - whenever that is - I am going to do my research and use the tips and information she provided on her blog to help inform myself and do everything I can to make my attempt successful. I'm going make sure my doctor knows I want time for skin to skin contact and breast feeding time before they take the baby away for all the test and what not. I will find a doctor that allows that.