September 11, 2011.
Two years ago today.
One of the hardest days of my life.
I went to the hospital because I was spotting.
Ultrasound showed everything was great.
There was a heartbeat.
They said I was 6 weeks 4 days along.
They said I was due May 2nd, 2012.
I know that wasn't right though. I should have been further along.
I was told there was a 50/50 chance.
I was told that since we saw a heartbeat, it was highly unlikely.
Two hours later, I lost the baby.
I still think about that baby all the time.
Whether it was a boy or a girl.
What it would have looked like.
I named the baby Brevyn.
I had to give it a name.
I still have the pregnancy tests.
And the pregnancy journal that I only got to fill out one page of.
I will always wonder what that baby would have been like.
It will always have a special place in my heart.
Rest in perfection, baby.
"An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book, 'too beautiful for Earth.'"
I'm sorry, Megan. Wondering is hard. The name is Beautiful though. Have you considered either making a small memorial or placing a brick in the National Memorial for your Baby? It might be nice on days you are feeling down.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry mama. I wish there was something I could say. I live the baby's name. Beautiful!
ReplyDelete